Otaku Faerie
by Tongari a.k.a Jess
Summary: This is solely for humor, nothing more nothing less. I think it is funny and so do the few people who have read it. ^_^ Warning: Is very strange and demented and came to me at 1:00 A.M when my brain became demented from lack of sleep.


Warning: This is one of the many strange ideas my brain thinks up when I have had little sleep the night before and it is 1:00 in the morning. Well this was one of the only one suitable to be put on paper, the others were much, much worse. I recommend only reading this if you have a very sick sense of humor like mine and if you have been told you were a very strange person at least ten times in the past week. Well I hope you enjoy my little piece, I can't say it took a lot of time, or effort, or thought..., well all I can really say about it is that it is the strangest fanfic I have ever written. Just be patient and read it all the way through.  
  
  
  
Jess was a perfectly normal person, well as perfectly 'normal' as a Trigun fangirl could be, sitting in front of her television set watching everyone's favorite doughnut loving, gun slinging hero in action when the screen suddenly went blanc! Jess flew out of her seat in rage, eyes burning red with anger, ready to run rabid through the entire house to find and brutally kill whoever had ruined her tape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When a small woman appeared on the screen. "Greetings young otaku. I am the Otaku Faerie and I come bearing a special gift." Jess, wanting to know more about this 'gift', sat back down in her chair and listened attentively, "close your eyes tightly and think hard on the two anime people you want here the most." Jess, having heard enough at the word 'gift', clamped her eyes shut and thought as hard as she could on.. There were two loud popping noises and when Jess opened her eyes there, in front of her, stood Vash and Wolfwood. "We are here to serve you in any way you wish, we are now your loyal slaves." Now don't we all wish we could hear this from Wolfy and Vash's mouths? Jess' mouth dropped open and hit the floor in shock. "You two," Jess pointed at Wolfwood and Vash, "Are here," motions around the room, "to serve ME?" points to herself, "To do WHATEVER I order you to do?" Wolfwood and Vash nod. An evil gleam appears in Jess' eyes as she eyed Vash in a way he didn't exactly like. She reached behind her and magically pulled a collar and leash set from some unknown place behind her back. She strapped the collar onto Vash's neck, latched the leash to the collar, led him up to her room, made him get down on all fours, stood in front of him and ordered him to.......... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................................... ........Can you guess what it is going to be?........ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................... .......Come on now, that sick little brain of yours should have figured it out by now..................... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................................... .......Don't you hate me at this one moment?........ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ........ ..........and the answer is.............. ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ........ .............A secret............... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................................................. ..........Now, now don't leave........... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................................................................... ..........alright I will tell you the answer....... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ........................................ .........the answer is................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .......... ...........A secret hahahahahaha!........... ..........I crack myself up............... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .......... ..........no, no, now it is for real. I promise........ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .......................... CLEAN HER ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!! *What were you thinking it was?*  
  
With that done it was now time for the real fun to begin! Jess walked back to where Wolfwood was waiting patiently for her return. "I have a very 'SPECIAL' job just for you." An evil grin to rival all evil grins formed on Jess' lips. "Mrow" Kuroneko-chan suddenly runs across the floor and into the other room. "Mrow" She led him out into her back yard which consisted of 100 acres of land where. She knew there were no neighbors to see or hear what went on. This was the perfect spot! Hehehe! Jess told gave Wolfwood his order. Wolfwood slowly peeled his shirt off his perfectly chiseled torso revealing his beautifully tanned skin. ::Starts drooling and day dreaming, and forgets about the fanfic:: ~Two hours later~ ::snaps back out of never-never land and begins to write again:: Wolfwood then starts to ..................... .............................. ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ................................ .......Don't you hate it when I do this?......... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................. ...I can just picture that vein of your twitching with annoyance.. ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ................................................................ .....lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala........ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ........................................ ........What does Wolfwood have to do?.......... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................................. .........Is handed an envelop............ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................................... ........Oh look I have the answer right here....... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................... ...........Wana see it?............... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................................................... ..::Holds the envelop out to you but pulls it away when you get close::.. ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................................. ...........HaHa! Can't have it!.......... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ........ ............Oh all right................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................................................................... ............................................................................ .......................................................................... ........opens the envelop and gives a loud gasp........ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................................................................... ........My, My! This came as quite a shock........ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ...................................................... ...........Wolfwood starts to............. ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................... MOW THE LAWN! *Well what else is he doin' without a shirt? It's hot and sunny outside and that is a lot of grass to mow*  
  
With both her slaves now doing chores it was now time for Jess to get to her computer and go to the three A.M theater where she could read about the Wolfwood that wore a cheesy bee costume and the Legato that needed a shower.  
  
The End  
  
WAIT!!!! I have one more thing to say!  
  
HE'S GOT THE URGE!  
  
THE END  
  
If you were wondering, the three A.M theater is a site with a bunch of demented but oh so hilarious comic strips by Crazy Kid Nikki. Wana see? Go to: http://kitsunedesign.com/3amtheater/archive.html  
  
If you go and read 'My Honey' and 'The Urge' you will understand a few of the comments at the end.  
  
I hope you enjoyed yourselves. ^_^ I had some fun writing this even though I was nearly passed out from being so tiered. Review please or email me at candyapple_86@yahoo.com 


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